


iTunes Shuffle Challenge

by orphan_account



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-10-30
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:23:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/260115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Put your iPod on shuffle and use the first ten songs as a basis for your fics.<br/>I may exceed ten. I may not.<br/>Each chapter is for a different song.</p><p>I do not own these people, nor are these in any way, shape, or form true.<br/>Just for entertainment!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Inside My Head by Meg & Dia

Inside My Head by Meg & Dia

'Finally,' Adam thought as the sun dipped down, leaving him in darkness. He lay face down against the pillows of his much-too-large king sized bed. He couldn't tell you how long he'd been there, but it was far too long for his taste. All he wanted was a nap - one god damn nap but no, instead he had to be assaulted with his newly-acquired insomnia.

Adam dozed for what felt like five minutes before he was woken up by the obnoxious ring of his cell phone. He glanced at the digital red letters of his clock and groaned. Four AM. he didn't have to look to know who it was.

"Tommy?" he mumbled, sitting up and bringing the phone to his ear, trying to clear the sleep-haze that was fogging his mind.

"Adam?" his voice was broken and Adam could hear the tears in his voice.

He sat up even higher. "What happened this time?" Adan was used to this. He often got middle-of-the-night phone calls from Tommy, mostly about his new boyfriend. Honestly? The guy was an asshole. Adam had been trying to get Tommy away from him, but it's true what they say - you can only help those who want to be helped.

There was silence interrupted by Tommy's sniffles before he finally spoke, "Adam? Can I come over? I-I just need to get out of here. I can't stay here."

Adam was shocked to say the least. He had never heard Tommy like this before - he had never asked to get away. He had always insisted that they were okay, that they could work things out. "Of course, baby," Adam muttered. "Anytime. You know that."

Adam heard a sharp intake of breath, then Tommy said, "Thanks. I'll be there in about ten minutes." Then he hung up.

Adam spent that ten minutes dragging himself out of bed and turning on the lights. Tommy got to the door when he did, and Adam was surprised at his appearance.

His feet were bare and he was staring down at them intently , only halfway hiding the dark bruise forming on his cheek. He cradled his right hand in his left, and he had the hand clenched into a fist. Makeup was smeared around his eyes and tears still ran silently down his cheeks.

"Oh Tommy," Adam mumbled, pulling the smaller man into his arms and trying to fight down the anger bubbling up in him at the thought of that asshole hitting Tommy. "Oh baby," he whispered as Tommy clung to him, crying into his shirt. He kissed Tommy's hair gently. "C'mon, let's get you inside, okay?"

Tommy nodded and Adam led him into the living room, watching as he sat on the couch and brought his legs up. He was still cradling his right hand. Adam knelt down in front of him so that they were eye-to-eye.

"What happened Tommy?" Adam had to fight to keep his voice even.

Tommy closed his eyes tightly then let out a deep breath, opening them again and looking Adam straight in the face. "He - he just went crazy... I've never seen him like that before - I never... I never thought..."

Tommy fell silent and Adam smiled weakly at him. "Tell me what happened."

"He hit me in the face. Hard. When I cried out he - he got even more angry." Tommy held out his right hand so that Adam could see the burn mark. "He... used his cigarette on me. It hurt. It hurt so god damn bad."

Tears were leaking from Tommy's eyes again and Adam pulled him close, letting Tommy cling to him. His sobs grew more violent and loud. "It's okay baby," Adam tried soothing him again, rubbing small circles on his back. "You're here now, you're with me. You're safe."

"Please don't make me go back," Tommy sobbed. "I can't... I can't go back there. I can't go back to him. Please don't make me - I... I need help."

"Shhh," Adam mumbled, resting his chin on Tommy's head. "You don't have to go back. I'll help you. I'm gonna help you."


	2. Smokin' In The Boy's Room by Motley Crue

Smokin' In The Boys Room by Motley Crue

Tommy slumped low in his seat, long fringe just barely covering his eyes as he struggles to stay awake. History was boring and Mr. Reid's droning, monotone voice wasn't helping. At all. Tommy stretched, feeling his back pop. He glanced at the clock and cringed. How could he possibly still have half an hour?

His fingers twitched over the cardboard rectangle-box in the pocket of his leather jacket and he was hit with a familiar itch. He needed out. Now.

He raised his hand. "Yes, Thomas?"

He tried to hide the cringe that was his automatic reflex to his full name. "Can I go to the bathroom?"

"May you, Mr. Ratliff, and yes you may. Just take the hall pass."

Tommy inwardly rolled his eyes and grabbed the pass, nearly running from the room. He was just so damn happy to be out of the class. But he slowed his pace in the hallway, slipping inconspicuously into the nearest bathroom.

He pulled the carton of cigarettes out, breathing a sigh of relief as he got one out and between his lips. He felt around in his jacket till he found his lighter, then he closed his eyes in ecstasy.

He nearly swallowed the cigarette when someone tapped his shoulder, but let out a sigh of relief when he saw it was just another student.

"Hey man," Tommy said, taking in the bright blue eyes and flame of red hair. The kid was pale and covered in freckles. Tommy could honestly say he had never seen him around.

"You know how much trouble you're gonna be in if you get caught?"

Tommy laughed lightly. "I won't tell if you don't," he said, flipping his hair out of his eyes and taking in the kid. He was dressed with a slight rocker-edge, but seemed a bit like a goody-two-shoes. "I'm Tommy."

"Adam," the kid said, nodding in salute. He was staring and Tommy knew he had cued in on the eyeliner.

"Ya like the eyeliner?" Tommy asked with a smile. "Figured I'd try it out for a week. I like it." He dropped the cigarette and put it out with his boot.

"Yeah, yeah I do," Adam said, sounding surprised.

"I could do some on you if you want," Tommy said, pulling the pencil stub out of his pocked with another cigarette, which he lit and took another long drag of, setting the liner and lighter on the counter.

"Yeah?" Adam asked, eyeing the liner-pencil, then looking at Tommy. Tommy nodded and so did Adam. "Uhmm... Okay."

Tommy smiled brightly, tapping the cigarette on the edge of the sink to drop the ash. "Up you go," he said, pointing at the counter. Adam obliged, hopping up and looking at Tommy. "Want a hit?" Tommy held the cigarette out.

"I don't... I've never smoked," Adam said, shaking his head.

"Then try it - you never know, you might like it," he smiled when Adam took it out of his hand. "Just take it slow."

Adam took a cautious drag and coughed a little, handing it back to Tommy. "Not that bad," he mumbled. "It tickles though."

Tommy laughed. "Alright Adam. Close your eyes," Adam did and leaned back against the mirror. Tommy used the lighter to melt the end of the liner a little, then blew on it to cool it off before applying a thin layer to each of Adam's eyes. "Alright - all done."

Adam opened his eyes and quickly turned to look in the mirror. "I love it!" He squealed a little.

"You look hot," Tommy agreed with a smile. Adam looked surprised and looked at Tommy slightly confused. "What?"

"I look hot?"

"Am I not allowed to say that?" Tommy smirked. Yeah, he had picked up on the sexuality Adam tried to keep muted. Not like it took a rocket scientist to figure it out - he was pretty obvious.

"No it's just... Thanks Tommy," Adam said, smiling.

"Anytime," Tommy said with a smile, shoving his stuff back in his pockets and putting the cigarette out with his toe again.

 "See ya around, Adam," Tommy muttered, hitting his cheeks playfully.

"Yeah," Adam said with a bright smile. "Yeah, I'm sure you will."


	3. Beautiful by H.I.M.

Beautiful by H.I.M.

The touches, small kisses, fleeting glances. Everything meant something, everything was meant to make Tommy feel.

When Adam kissed him so sweetly, he felt love. The soft brush of lips, a mere caress, made him remember how deeply his feelings ran. A spark ignited in him every time, and the world fell away.

When Adam kissed him fiercely, limbs twining around him and igniting fire on his skin, teeth bared against sensitive flesh and burning lips, he felt desired. He felt grounded and lost at the same time, drifting into sub-space where the only reality was the hard scrape of teeth-against-teeth.

When Adam looked at him, he could feel it in the fibre of his very being. All his hairs stood on end. He could sense the gaze from a mile away. Sometimes, Adam was beaconing him closer, needing to touch, feel, ground himself. Sometimes, he was only asking for a reassuring smile. Somehow Tommy always knew.

And then there were times like these, when Adam simply held him close, tucked to his side protectively, comfortably. Times that Tommy knew he was treasured. He felt worthy, loved, beautiful, and complete. Everything had led him to this place, this man. Fate worked in mysterious ways. Times like these, he knew where he belonged.

Adam's lips pressed lightly to his temple as he holds him, whispering, "Beautiful, you are so beautiful. And I love you."


	4. Fucking Boyfriend by The Bird And The Bee

Fucking Boyfriend by The Bird And The Bee

Hands gripped at Tommy's back, holding him tight, down against the mattress. Teeth scraped against his shoulder and skin skidded against skin, sticking with sweat. Moans came from Adam at regular intervals as he licked and bit at Tommy's shoulder and back, pounding into him.

Tommy moaned in response, pressing up into Adam as he hit that spot. A hand trailed under Tommy and gripped his cock, black manicured nails stark against his pale flesh. "Adam!" he cried, swept in sensation after sensation, tingling from head-to-toe, losing himself in that sub-space.

"God, Adam!" he yells as he comes, Adam's hand stroking him through until he collapses bonelessly on the bed, muscles completely lax.

Adam grips onto Tommy's hips, leaving small bruises as he pulls Tommy up to meet his ever-faster thrusts, so close. He bit into Tommy's shoulder again as he came with a moan.

He collapses on Tommy for a moment, resting his forehead on Tommy's back as he lets his breathing return to normal. He presses small butterfly-kisses to Tommy's shoulder before he finally rolls over, dragging Tommy with him. "You good?"

"Yeah," Tommy mumbles, curling into Adam's side. "I just need to clean up."

Adam laughs and fluffs Tommy's hair, taking a few moments to just look at him. Friends. Just friends. That's what they had decided, right? He ignored the slight clench in his stomach. "C'mon, up Glitterbaby. Shower time."

Tommy groaned but obeyed, following Adam to the shower. He hated hotel showers. So much. They were way too small for the two of them and they had to cram in. He wished they were back at Adam's place. Adam had a nice shower - with one of those big-ass shower heads that you could change the settings on.

He sighed and followed Adam into the steaming stream of water. His back was right against Adam's chest. Adam pulled him close, kissing his wet hair and grabbing the bar of soap to run it over Tommy's skin, carefully reaching every part he could.

Tommy pressed back against him and closed his eyes, allowing himself to daydream. He let his mind drift into dangerous territory. The fingers that were skimming his skin were his boyfriend's. The gentle kisses whispers of love. Reminders that they were together.  
   
Tommy jerked his eyes open. No. It wasn't the case and he couldn't keep letting himself get hopeful. A fuck was a fuck was a fuck. They were just friends, right? Isn't that what they had decided?

"You okay baby?" Adam pulled him completely out of himself and he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine... Just tired is all."

Adam knew it was a lie, but he didn't bother trying to figure out what it really was. Tommy wouldn't tell him. He never would. Instead, he gently kissed Tommy's neck and smiled against him. "Then let's go to bed."

Adam reached around Tommy and turned the water off, then helped Tommy out of the tub and dried him off, then he dried himself.

Tommy waited for him, shivering and naked, and Adam had to smile at that. They went out together and went to their bags.

"Shit," Tommy muttered, digging through his bag of wrinkled clothes.

Adam smiled a little, stepping into sleep pants and watching Tommy dig frantically. "Forget something, Glitterbaby?"

"Shit, fuck, yeah... Uhmm..." Tommy stopped and looked at Adam. "I don't actually have any sleep pants... I forgot to grab some."

Adam smiled, thinking about it. Then he reached in his bag and pulled out the extra pair he had packed. "You can borrow mine," he said, tossing it Tommy's way.

"Thanks Adam," Tommy said with a smile, pulling them on and flipping his wet hair back.

"No problem, hun," he smiled and kissed Tommy lightly. "Let's go to bed, yeah? I'm pretty exhausted too."

Tommy simply nods, taking his place at the left side of the bed. He turns his head and watches the shadow of Adam, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He scoots closer and Adam turns his head, looking at Tommy.

"Go to sleep Tommy... we have a long day tomorrow," he shrinks back from the obvious rejection.

He never takes his eyes off of Adam, watching him simply breathe and stare at the ceiling. It's frustrating not knowing what he's thinking. Usually, Adam would touch him, hold him, talk to him. He never completely ignored Tommy like this. Something was off.

Tommy rolled over to his right side, then to his left. He settled on his back, then flipped over to his stomach. Nothing was comfortable enough. He rolled a few more times before Adam grabbed his wrists and straddled him, face down, on the bed.

"Stop. Fucking. Rolling." he wasn't really angry, just annoyed.

Tommy grunted. "Get off me, Adam."

Adam smiled and kissed the back of Tommy's neck, letting his hands trail over the bare skin of his back.

"Not now, Adam," Tommy couldn't handle it. He was way too emotional at the moment to let Adam break his heart again, have another meaningless round of sex.

"C'mon baby," Adam mumbled, kissing Tommy's back and following the path with his tongue.

"No," Tommy said firmly, pushing up to try to throw Adam off.

It didn't quite work but Adam moved up on his knees and rolled Tommy over onto his back, then lowered himself back down, straddling Tommy's chest. "Why not?"

Tommy begged with his eyes, begged Adam to drop it, to just forget the night. But he didn't. He stared at Tommy expectantly, awaiting an answer. "I... I can't do this anymore!" Tommy cried out, and suddenly tears started to flow from nowhere.

Adam began to panic slightly at the tears and wiped them away with his thumbs, lightly kissing Tommy's cheeks. "Can't do what anymore, babe? Can't do what?"

"This!" Tommy yelled, bucking up at Adam unsuccessfully. "Hooking up, sex... Meaningless sex."

Adam wiped at Tommy's tears again, continuing to lightly kiss him. He finally stopped and simply looked at Tommy. "What are you saying, Tommy?"

"Adam... Would you... Would you be my fucking boyfriend?"


	5. Cancer by My Chemical Romace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major character death. It made me cry to write it.  
> I never ever EVER want this to happen.

Cancer by My Chemical Romance

"How're you feeling today, baby?" Adam's smooth voice made Tommy feel relaxed, happy.

"Hanging in there," his voice was dry, frail. "I miss you."

Adam's heart nearly broke. He sounded rough. Time was running out. "I know Tommy. I miss you too. So much."

"When are you coming to visit?" Tommy hated it. Hated the forced separation, hated that Adam had to see him like this. But he was afraid that this time, he wouldn't be out to see him again.

Adam chewed on his bottom lip, thinking about it. "Tonight," he said quietly.

"I thought you had an appearance."

"I do," Adam said quietly. "But I'd rather see you. They can wait - there will always be another appearance I can make."

Tommy felt tears forming. "I love you Adam." He held the phone tight.

"I love you too Tommy. I'll see you tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Tommy whispered. He felt his chest tightening.

"I gotta go baby... Six o'clock. Six o'clock and not a second later." the phone clicked off after Tommy mumbled a goodbye.

Goodbye.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Tommy watched the numbers on the clock. Three, four, five. There was nothing better to do to pass the time. He would much rather pace, but he wasn't allowed out of bed at this point. Sure, he tried anyway, but the nurses always caught him and the last time they threatened to tie him down. He only believed that threat a little too much.

He had only just started to doze when he heard a low murmuring outside of the door. He forced his eyes open just in time to see Adam come through the door. A smile stretched across his face.

"Hey baby," Adam's voice sounded hoarse, like he had been crying maybe.

"Adam!" Tommy knew why. He had talked to the nurse. They had promised to let him break the news. Damn them.

Adam pulled a chair over to the side of the bed and took Tommy's hand, being weary of the I.V. and the monitor cords. He kissed the hand and ran his thumbs over it. "I miss you Tommy," he whispered. "So does everyone else - Monte's been asking about you almost everyday."

Tommy smiled again, feeling his lips crack a little. "Will you tell them that I love them and miss them too?"

Adam nodded, concentrating on Tommy's palm. "How much longer till we can get you out of here?"

There was no hope in his deflated voice. "Adam...." Tommy warned. "Adam... Look at me baby." He looked up. Tears had started to silently fall. Tommy reached his hand up and started brushing them away, and Adam grabbed his hand, holding it to his face.

"Don't say it," Adam begged. "Please."

"Adam, come on. I need to talk to you baby. You have to be strong for me... for me, okay?" And finally, Tommy started to crumble. All the months and years and hours that he had been strong, that he had held on and kept in the tears, kept a straight face so everyone didn't worry, caught up with him. Tears finally fell and his small body shook.

Adam was there, pulling him as close as he could, soothing fingers massaging his hair. He was silent.

"I'm scared," Tommy muttered through tears. "I don't wanna die - I'm not ready to die."

Adam pressed his lips to Tommy's forehead. "I'm not ready to let you go either, baby." Adam pulled him just a bit closer as he continues to shake, coming apart after all these years. "Damn... You've been so strong Tommy.  You are so strong. None of us know how you do it baby."

Tommy just continued to cry, clinging to Adam. "They... They gave me a few options."

Adam continued to hold him, running his hand soothingly up-and-down Tommy's back. "What are they?"

"I can stay here - I'll last another few months in here, they said. Or I can go home. Live as much as I can."

"How long," Adam mumbled. "How long if you come home?"

"Maybe a month," Adam's arms tightened.

"What do you wanna do?" Adam's voice was nothing, almost silent.

"I wanna come home, Adam. I wanna be with you. Can I come home?"

Adam nodded through his tears. "Yeah baby... Yeah. Let's get you home."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A few days later saw Tommy collapsed on Adam's couch, panting. "You alright Tommy?" Adam knelt in front of him.

Tommy nodded. "Just haven't walked this much in a while - it's nice though."

"Tommy, I want to talk to you about something." Tommy sat up and made room for Adam to share the couch with him.

"I'm all ears," he said, smiling.

Adam smiled and took both of Tommy's hands in his. "I want to know how you want to spend your last few weeks - anywhere you wanna go, anything you wanna do, I want to know. I want to do everything in my power to make sure you're happy."

Tommy laughed for the first time in a long time. It wasn't much, but it was still a laugh. "All I want is to spend time with you Adam. I..." Tommy had to rethink what he was saying. "I just want to be with you - that's what would make me happy."

"You're sure?" Adam couldn't help but smile. It was one of the sweetest things he'd heard in a long time.

Tommy nodded.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A few weeks later found Tommy spread out on the mattress under Adam, shaking at the light caresses of lips against skin. He had gained a little bit of strength back since being off chemo, but not enough to be absurd and think he was getting better.

Adam's lips ghosted Tommy's inner thigh and he gasped, bucking up, breathlessly saying "Adam!"

Adam smiled against his flesh, and moved upward slowly, swallowing Tommy's cock in one fluid motion. Tommy buried his hands in Adam's hair, spreading his legs slutty-wide as he felt the pleasure building. "Adam, stop, I'm gonna, unf... If you don't stop," and Adam pulled off quickly, climbing up to kiss Tommy's lips.

Tommy kissed back hungrily as Adam savored it. When he finally pulled back, Adam whispered "On your stomach, baby."

Tommy obliged. Adam kissed gently down his shoulder, nipping and licking his way until he reached Tommy's ass. His fingers gently spread Tommy's cheeks as his tongue experimentally touched at Tommy's hole.

Tommy had never been rimmed before, and he screamed out, fisting the sheets. "You okay?" Adam whispered. Tommy nodded and Adam went back to what he was doing, gently opening up Tommy's body as Tommy whimpered and shook under him, the sensation almost too much.

It was over a bit too quickly. Adam pulled back and flipped Tommy back over, smiling as he slipped a few fingers into Tommy's mouth. "Suck, baby."

Tommy did as he was told, and after a minute, Adam pulled them out and slipped one into Tommy, smiling as Tommy's body opened up to accept it. 

"You doing okay, baby?" Adam had been weary of sex - Tommy exhausted so easily. But Tommy begged, said he didn't care if it made him too tired, that he needed Adam at least one more time. And how was Adam supposed to say no to that?

"Yeah," Tommy said, smiling and surging up to kiss Adam lightly as his fingers worked to open Tommy. "More than okay."

Adam smiled, continuing to work Tommy open as much as he could. He didn't want Tommy to have any discomfort tonight. He wanted it to be perfect. "Please Adam, now. I'm ready - please."

Adam nodded, helping Tommy to pull his legs up as he lined himself up, pushing in as gently as he could. Tommy sighed as Adam pushed in, wrapping his legs around Adam, holding him as deep as he could. "I missed you," Tommy whimpered, a few tears falling.

"Shhhh, baby," Adam whispered, holding himself still and kissing at Tommy's tears. "We're here now, let's have this, okay?"

Tommy nodded, smiling up at Adam. "You can... I need you to move."

And so he did. They took their time, letting themselves build up to the edge and then allowing it to ebb away, savoring what they had for as long as they could.

When they finally came, it was together. Adam pulled Tommy as close as he could, kissing him through it, whispering words of love.

Tommy clung to Adam, tears running down his face. He buried his face in Adam's chest. Adam began to pull out and Tommy mumbled, "Not yet. Please, not yet." So Adam stayed where he was, holing Tommy close and feeling the cum drying on them both.

He held Tommy, rubbing his back and kissing him gently through his tears. "I love you. So much, Tommy. So, so much."

Tommy's tears fell harder. "I love you too Adam."

"Baby, let me clean us up, okay?" Tommy nodded against him, letting himself be carried to the bathroom and set on the counter, leaning against the mirror. "You tired Tommy?"

There was concern in Adam's voice. Tommy simply nodded. For some reason, he knew tonight was it. That's why he wanted this so badly, wanted Adam. He needed the final contact. And now, he felt like he could do it, like everything really would be okay if he just let go.

Adam ran a warm wash cloth over his stomach, gently wiping away their mess. When they were both cleaned up, Tommy let Adam carry him to the bed, laying curled in Adam's embrace.

"What're you thinking, Tommy?"

He smiled. "Just that I hope you know how much I love you - and no matter what, I'll always love you."

Adam kissed him lightly on the lips. "I love you too Tommy. I always, always will."

"And..." Tommy took a deep breath. "And that I don't... I don't wanna die alone."

"What do you mean? What are you saying Tommy?" somehow sweet had turned to panic in a matter of mere moments.

Tommy took a deep breath. "This is it, Adam. I don't... I think tonight is it."

Adam pulled him closer. "I love you, Tommy."

"I love you too Adam. Always."

Adam held him through the night. He had tried to make Tommy sleep, but Tommy assured him that he would get plenty of that soon enough. They whispered to each other through the darkness, meaningless things. Mainly memories of things that had happened on tour. They laughed a lot.

And as the sun came up, Tommy began to slip away. Adam pulled him closer, kissing him gently. "I love you Tommy," he whispered.

"I love you too Adam," he sounded weak, but he was fighting, clinging onto his last few moments.

Adam held him close, rocking him gently. "Go to sleep, baby. Go to sleep now - it's okay. Let go baby."

8:09 AM was when the call came in for an ambulance.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

The funeral was beautiful. Adam had made sure that Tommy's makeup was just the way he liked it and his hair was done up right. His nails were a slick black and his coffin had small bats engrained on it. Some thought it was in bad taste, but Adam knew that Tommy would love it.

The service was beautiful and Adam spoke. He didn't cry as much as he thought he would. When he got his last few moments with Tommy, he caressed his face gently. "I love you, Tommy. I miss you."

He might have imagined it, but he swore he heard Tommy's laugh and heard a whisper of "I love you."

Adam felt a peace come over him as he said goodbye and watched the coffin close.


End file.
